Acknowledging God When You Don’t Understand

Faith Activated, Expressed, & Working Through Love

The first time I ever recognized the voice of God speaking to me, which I can recall, was in 2006. I was finishing up my degree at The University of North Alabama and was set to graduate. I had everything planned out for the future and my husband and I were discussing the possibility of me going for a Master’s Degree in a nearby town, about three hours away. I was pregnant at the time with my second child.

I had been baptized in water when I was younger, but had only recently encountered Christ and was completely transformed by His love. The Lord’s Manifest Presence came into my bedroom one afternoon and He shared with me that His plan was not for me to pursue another degree, but to now shift into a different assignment and to minister to my family at home. As if I wasn’t already emotional enough, I went into a panic attack. I called our home church’s office and our church counselor graciously talked me through the experience. She assured me that the Lord was good and whatever His path was for me, that it would be greater than I could imagine. She prayed with me and I experienced the peace of God in that moment but let me just say, I absolutely did not understand anything that was happening.

My choice to obey and trust in The Way of the Lord from that day forward would prepare me for many things to come and a plethora of blessings and opportunities I am still experiencing today, including the privilege of teaching my children now for over a decade. But, if you had asked me then to explain why (after investing so much of our finances and time) God would completely transition me into something which seemed less prosperous and honorable in every natural sense and for which I had no “skill”, I would not have been able to answer you. Nonetheless, I trusted God. His love had overcome me.

Now, I am a person who loves and longs for understanding more than most. I am a perpetual learner with an unquenchable desire to solve mysteries and investigate truth. I want to understand the world and the people around me and I want to feel understood. In a sense, we all do. There is a sense of control and safety in that. We can prepare for anything and try our best to prevent pain. The truth is, I could have decided at that point to do whatever I wanted after God impressed His will upon my heart. I could have let the fear of an unknown future overwhelm me. But I was being called to something more than I presently had a natural capacity for and I had a choice to make. God was putting a desire in me that I had not experienced or dreamed I would have before.

“For it is God who is working in you both to will and to do, according to His pleasure.” Phil. 2:13

I would not look back at my life and say that I have taken huge risks that were apparent to the masses, but I realize now that so many of the opportunities that the Lord has presented to me, were beyond my own abilities and skills at the time and therefore required much faith to move in. They also revealed the areas and people which God had called me to that I never considered on my own. So often, others have seen Christ in me and called it forth, but I had to move out in faith and act on it. In this first case, no one I was close to was homeschooling their kids or staying home with their children at all. It wasn’t very popular then. And I had gone to public school my whole life. I had no grid or training for anything else. I mean, God could have told me about this before college and I could have at least gotten a leg up on it by being an Education major. But He didn’t, because then it would’ve been a logical move and based out of my own capacity. Sometimes the things we least expect are actually preparing us for something more.

If the call is not greater than our own understanding or ability, it isn’t a leap of faith. God first anoints us for purpose. He doesn’t first explain purpose. The boy David wasn’t called from the fields of shepherding so that he could get a thorough understanding and explanation of Kingship from Samuel. What did Samuel know about being a king? He was a prophet. But God had him pull David aside to anoint his head with oil for his future. He definitely didn’t understand it all at the time. His training and confirmation would come through his covenant agreement with God on the journey.

Yes, it is faith which pleases God and the choice I made that day to agree with God to move in something I had never moved in before propelled me into my future, in Christ, and built in me a trust with God that I would need to make many more risky and difficult choices by faith, which unbeknownst to me would follow in the years to come.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.” Proverbs 3:5-6

I have discovered that in the Kingdom of Heaven, knowing God is higher than understanding Him and our obedience in what we only know by His Spirit is better than our traditions and rituals which we know by our flesh. God commissions and anoints us to move in faith and in purpose and we get to choose to believe Him and walk in it- wether we or others can see it unfolding yet.

Anytime my 13 year old son doesn’t like my opinion or my “no” on a matter and we don’t have a heart connection, almost every time he will make the assumption that his opinion and understanding is better than mine. Each time there is a disconnect, he becomes angry and disagrees with me and he stays stuck in a cycle of negative behavior. He may say he is sorry, but when the cycle continues, he can’t move forward. Why? Because it is really a heart issue. He doesn’t believe in my love for him or value the word I spoke to him. He thinks I am unfair and that he deserves an explanation before he is to walk in what I have said. He wants proof that satisfies his mind before he will obey me. He wants proof that I am qualified to lead him. When he is most out of line, he is uninterested in the journey of our relationship. He wants confirmation after confirmation of validation so he can do what he desires before he moves in honor. Alternatively, sometimes even when he gets my explanation, it isn’t enough to motivate his heart. That’s when I sit back and realize that what he really needs to know the most is my love in greater measure.

“True love for God means obeying his commands, and his commands don’t weigh us down as heavy burdens.” 1 John 5:3, TPT

There is a clear connection between the love of God and the ability to risk everything and obey Him in faith. The acknowledging of the Presence and Voice of God in all your ways will absolutely transform your life and light up the direction of your path, in Christ. But it is all predicated on the experience of His love, and your heart connection with Him. If it’s not there, pride and fear will set up shop and paralyze you from ever moving forward. Because your mind can’t grasp The Way. But, God isn’t an explanation. He is love. And that is a relational journey, always adjusting to the heart of each other and finding out that His way is holy, winding, changing, and separating. His way is always moving us forward because He is alive and He is guiding us continually into perfect love, by His Spirit.

So, if we find ourselves longing to see and to understand why and what is to come in our future in Christ and we are frustrated with the narrow place and the unknown, we have three positions which will benefit our relationship with Our Lord and help us to see and feel His love again:

1. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. This is a spiritual position- based on the wholeness of our internal world. The word trust actually means “be bold”! So we can break out of the analyzation of life’s questions by “being bold in the Lord with all of our heart”. Be real with Him, hold nothing back, and take bold steps forward as He is directing you.

2. Lean not on your own understanding. This is a body position- based on our skills, strength, perceptions, and intellectual or logical knowledge of a familiar thing or way. Lean toward others in the Body of Christ for strength, lean into communion with Christ (His body and blood), and let the Lord train your hands for war in the things He has put in your heart to step into which are outside of your current norm. Get in God’s alignment.

3. In all your ways acknowledge Him. This is a soul position- based on our journey and how we walk with others in habit, character, and integrity. Examine your ways. Are you truly inviting God’s voice, Presence, and the revelation of His love into every activity and relationship of your life? Let God expand on the knowledge and baptism of His love in your life. It is the only thing that will make us secure.

In great transition and increase, we must remember that we were never assured of the right to our own understanding. The Lord doesn’t require that our opinions be expressed and our fears relieved before we move into new responsibilities and anointing. We mustn’t get puffed up and think we know how things should go or deserve an explanation. We cannot go merely by what we want or feel. We cannot look at a matter and discern by our own wisdom. We must have a heart after God’s and break through the fear and comfort of all familiarity. We will need a fresh revelation of God’s love more than ever before so that we can move forward in faith and boldness and take the risks and adventure with Christ… because faith works by love.

What we are assured of is the grace to hear God (“My sheep know my voice”) and to choose to acknowledge Him in the face of our fears, opinions, misunderstandings, and contradictions. We can rest assured that as a result of this continual choice to agree with God and by an act of our will, that He will direct us in the paths of righteousness and over time and in relationship He will reveal to us His ways and whys. We will realize one day on our journey that all of our history with God was in fact leading us into the fullness of His love and His eternal promises.

What I know now that I didn’t understand back then:

1. Communications and speech class ended up being one of my favorite things. I had people come up to me and ask how I was able to prepare and speak as I did. I didn’t know there was an unusual grace on my life for any of that. Never once had I dreamed of speaking publicly or writing speeches. However, I ended up using all of it years later to speak, to blog, to teach, and to author and self-publish my first book. It was an awakening of the gifts of God within me.

2. I realized I could complete a goal with excellence. I graduated in exactly four years and mapped it out. I use that same style of goal setting and prep today in all my work. It was an important tool I would need.

3. My major was Criminal Justice with a minor in Psychology. I studied to become an investigator and deal in forensics. I may not be an investigator in the natural today, but I spend my days investigating God’s Word and Ways and classroom curriculum in order to pray strategically, prepare, and break it down to teach others of God’s World and His Kingdom. This mindset that was cultivated within me would later make me a better discerner, teacher, writer, and apologist.

I say to you, The Lord wastes nothing!! And He is fashioning your life to bring you into the “more than you can ask or think” kind of love, that only He can give so that your joy may be full and you can move forward into promise!

“So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together for good, for we are his lovers who have been called to fulfill his designed purpose. For he knew all about us before we were born and he destined us from the beginning to share the likeness of his Son. This means the Son is the oldest among a vast family of brothers and sisters who will become just like him. Having determined our destiny ahead of time, he called us to himself and transferred his perfect righteousness to everyone he called. And those who possess his perfect righteousness he co-glorified with his Son! So, what does all this mean? If God has determined to stand with us, tell me, who then could ever stand against us? For God has proved his love by giving us his greatest treasure, the gift of his Son. And since God freely offered him up as the sacrifice for us all, he certainly won’t withhold from us anything else he has to give.” Romans 8:28-32, TPT

Declaration: Today, I will trust God. Today, I will choose to acknowledge His heart and love for me in every area and in growth where I am only limited by my own capacity. Today, I will choose to believe God’s promises. Today, I will invite and allow God’s Spirit to search me and to challenge my whole heart, my understandings, and all of my ways until I am direct-able in His Spirit. I will NOW move in great faith with God’s capacity and enter into His promise. The new wine is forming and the best is yet to come!

Just believe and receive the love of The Father!❤️

“And in this consists the Life of the Ages--in knowing Thee the only true God and Jesus Christ whom Thou hast sent.” John 17:3, Weymouth New Testament